Quick Answer

When you are growing spiritually, emotionally, or energetically and the people around you are not, you do not have to convince them to change. Continue modeling your new tools with grace, protect and clean your own energy, clean shared spaces before, during, and after interactions, and bless difficult interactions ahead of time. Some people will eventually lean into your growth. Others may not. Your job is to continue following your own path and use your intuition to recognize who you are actually meant to help.

This is something that comes up frequently when we begin doing deeper healing work.

You change.

You become more aware of your thoughts. You clean up your energy. You begin noticing unhealthy patterns. You develop stronger boundaries. You become more intuitive. You stop participating in things that once felt completely normal.

And then you look around and realize that some of the people you love have not changed with you.

It’s hard, but it’s not impossible.

I like to remember that no two frequencies can exist on the same plane. So if these people are still in your frequency, there must still be something you have in common with them, or they simply would not be there.

That said, I have found that some of the most difficult people to be around often represent the most recently outdated versions of ourselves.

And that can be painful.

Sometimes you are looking at an old reflection of something you have just outgrown.

You Don’t Have to Convince Anyone to Grow

My best advice is simple:

Continue to model all of your new tools with grace.

Be the new you in a relaxed and confident way.

You do not need to convince anyone. You do not need to constantly explain yourself. And you certainly do not need to drag another person along on your glorious journey of healing and insight.

Most people decide on their own terms when and how they are ready to make changes.

I have frequently heard stories from Reiki practitioners whose marital partners were completely opposed to Reiki. Then, after a few months, that same partner suddenly asks:

“Why don’t you ever give me Reiki?”

:-)

It’s all about timing.

I have had many experiences in my own life where a friend or family member bluntly resisted a suggestion from me and then later made that exact same choice—when it was on their terms.

Of course, I was never mentioned in these decisions.

But it’s not about me or my ego.

They got there in the end.

Sometimes People Are Invested in the Old Version of You

In truth, I have two key family members who are no longer in my life.

They were very invested in labeling me and treating me in a suppressed way. No matter how many books I have published, no matter how many lives I have helped, I am still delusional and broken in their eyes.

I know this has very little to do with me and much more to do with their own fears of being left behind or their resistance to growth.

But it is their path and their life—not mine.

I love their souls.

But it interferes with my soul’s mission to continue putting energy into people who will not grow.

And it isn’t my job to elevate everyone.

Only those who are my ASSIGNMENTS.

Who Is Actually Your Assignment?

This is where intuition comes into play.

Exactly who is your assignment—and when?

That can be tricky to determine because part of you may desperately want someone you love to come with you.

You see what is possible for them.

You see the pattern.

You see what they could change.

You may even know exactly what would help.

But that does not necessarily mean you are the person who is supposed to teach them.

Sometimes your assignment is to speak.

Sometimes your assignment is simply to model.

Sometimes your assignment is to love someone without trying to change them.

And sometimes your assignment is complete.

Use Energy Hygiene Around Difficult Relationships

As we continue our 90-Day Energy Hygiene Challenge, I wanted to add this perspective because Energy Hygiene is not only something you use when you feel tired, heavy, or energetically off.

You can use it around your relationships too.

If you are going to spend time with someone whose energy is difficult for you, clean your own energy first.

Channel Reiki.

Cut cords.

Bubble Up.

Then clean the space you are going to share.

You can clean that space before the person arrives, while you are together, and again after the interaction is complete.

You can also clean them off remotely if they are willing to receive the frequency.

You are not forcing anything upon another person. You are allowing Reiki to go where it is welcomed and needed.

Bless the Interaction Before It Happens

This is another tool I use frequently.

Before you walk into a difficult interaction, bless it.

If you know you are going to see someone who tends to trigger you, frustrate you, drain you, or pull you back toward an older version of yourself, decide what frequency you want the interaction to have before it begins.

I like to use a scale of 1–10.

See the interaction as a 10.

See yourself leaving the interaction feeling good.

See the other person feeling good.

See the conversation flowing.

See yourself maintaining your energy.

See everyone being respectful.

See the highest possible version of that interaction before you ever walk into the room.

Give the energy somewhere positive to go.

This is part of Energy Hygiene too.

Let Other People Have Their Own Timing

I hope you find patience with yourself and with the people in your life.

I hope you are strong enough to continue making healthy changes despite what is being modeled around you.

Every single person who chooses a path of healing and spiritual development becomes a light.

And when you are carrying more light, you are naturally going to illuminate darker places.

Sometimes other people do not like what they see.

They may resist it.

They may deny it.

They may criticize you.

They may try to pull you back into the version of yourself that made them more comfortable.

You do not have to go.

Those who are meant to grow may eventually lean in toward you rather than away from you.

It may take time.

Or it may never happen at all.

Either way, continue.

Continue cleaning your energy.

Continue blessing the spaces you enter.

Continue seeing difficult interactions as a 10 before they happen.

Continue developing your intuition so you can recognize the difference between someone you are meant to help and someone whose path simply belongs to them.

Continue Practicing With Me

If you want more support developing your Reiki, intuition, Energy Hygiene practices, and ability to work confidently with energy, I invite you to join me inside The Mohr Intuitive Collective. We practice together, share experiences, develop our intuitive abilities, and support one another as we continue growing.

You do not have to shrink because the people around you are uncomfortable with your growth.

Keep going. 🩷