Quick Answer: If you are a healer, Reiki practitioner, psychic, intuitive, spiritual teacher, or coach, boundaries are part of protecting both your energy and your ability to continue serving others. Not everyone who asks for “just one more question” or “one quick insight” realizes how much they are taking. Set your boundaries before you become depleted—and pay close attention to how someone responds when you enforce them.
Years ago, I used to keep fish, and at one point we decided to try dwarf puffer fish.
They are considered the “puppy dogs” of the fish world because of their seemingly huge eyes and the adorable little wagging motion they make when they are excited and connecting with you.
We had about eight of them.
They would school together, all wagging their little “tails,” especially when they knew we were about to feed them.
They were absolutely adorable.
Then one day, we noticed that our resident plecostomus wasn’t looking so good.
Parts of his fins were missing.
It didn’t take long for us to realize what was happening.
Those adorable little puffers were slowly eating him alive.
Nip by nip.
Eventually, he was left nearly finless and barely able to swim.
He died shortly afterward.
For some reason, that experience really stuck with me.
Years later, I realized why.
There Are Fin Nippers in Human Form Too
When you have a particular gift, skill, ability, or area of expertise, there will always be some people who assume that because you can provide something, you should provide it freely and infinitely.
I believe this becomes even more common when your work is spiritual in nature.
Think about your own reaction for a moment.
How do you feel about a wealthy minister?
A shaman driving a Ferrari?
A Reiki Master Teacher living in a mansion?
I am not saying that you should want a mansion, a Ferrari, or infinite wealth.
But I am saying that it is perfectly okay to want these things, to have these things, and to still be a talented, gifted, ethical healer.
Having wealth does not cancel out your gifts, your spirituality, or your desire to serve others.
Sometimes questions like these reveal beliefs we did not even realize we had about spirituality, money, healing, and what someone who serves others is “supposed” to have.
Why Are Spiritual Healers Expected to Give So Much Away?
We generally expect highly trained professionals to be compensated well for their expertise.
Yet spiritual teachers, Reiki practitioners, healers, psychics, intuitives, coaches, and other practitioners are often expected to keep giving more.
Can I ask you one more question?
Can you tell me what you are picking up?
Can you send me Reiki?
Can I email you about this?
Can you tell me what this means?
Can you give me one more insight?
Can you just look at this really quickly?
Nip.
Nip.
Nip.
One request might seem insignificant.
But when there are dozens, hundreds, or thousands of people asking for those little pieces of you, they add up quickly.
Watch What Happens When You Set a Boundary
In my own work with thousands of people, the vast majority have been wonderful, grateful, respectful, and appreciative of my time and intuitive insights.
But there are a few I have come to think of as fin nippers.
They do not honor boundaries.
They expect unlimited free channeling, insights, healing, advice, or access.
And sometimes, when that access is no longer available, they become angry.
They may leave a bad review.
They may break a financial agreement.
They may become demanding.
They may decide that you are suddenly the problem because you are no longer available to them on demand.
Here is one of the biggest lessons I have learned:
Pay very close attention to what happens the first time you set a boundary.
Their reaction will tell you a great deal.
Set Your Boundaries Before You Need Them
This is why I encourage my student teachers, healers, and practitioners to create boundaries on the front end.
Do not wait until you are exhausted.
Do not wait until you are angry.
Do not wait until someone has already taken far too much.
Decide ahead of time:
How many questions are included?
How much communication is included?
Are emails included?
Is additional healing included?
What happens when someone needs more support?
When does a free question become a paid session?
What access are you genuinely comfortable providing?
Then honor your own rules.
For example, one of my boundaries is that students in my online trainings may ask me two course-related questions.
I have more than 12,000 students.
Two personally answered questions for every student is already an enormous amount of access.
Most people understand and appreciate this completely.
A few will challenge it.
And very often, those are the same people who wanted far more free access than they paid for in the first place.
Do not allow those few people to deter you from your mission.
Energy Protection Matters Too
There is another spiritual component to this that is extremely important in my work.
People can have holes in their aura, and dark forces can enter through those holes and work through them to get to you.
They may attempt to slow you down.
Drain your energy.
Consume your time.
Create chaos.
Distract you.
Make you doubt yourself.
Or pull you away from your soul's mission.
This is one of the reasons I teach energy hygiene so relentlessly.
Bubble up.
Cut your cords.
Clean your energy.
Protect yourself.
And have boundaries.
Energy protection and personal boundaries work together.
You can bubble up all day long, but if you continue giving someone unlimited access to your time, attention, healing, and intuitive gifts, you are still allowing them to take from you.
Sometimes protecting your energy means saying no.
Sometimes it means ending the conversation.
Sometimes it means telling someone they need to book a session.
Sometimes it means not answering another message.
Sometimes it means allowing another person to be unhappy with you.
That does not mean you have failed them.
It means you stopped allowing them to nip away at you.
You Do Not Have to Become the Finless Pleco
This may be one of the most important lessons I can give new healers and spiritual practitioners:
You do not have to drain yourself to prove that you care.
You do not have to give everything away to prove that you are spiritual.
You do not have to be financially struggling to prove that your motives are pure.
You do not have to allow unlimited access to prove that you are compassionate.
Your work has value.
Your gifts have value.
Your time has value.
Your energy has value.
And yes, you can be generous.
You can answer questions.
You can offer free resources.
You can donate your time.
You can help people when you feel called to do so.
But you get to decide when, where, how, and how much.
That is very different from someone else deciding that your gifts belong to them.
Turn the Experience Into a Teaching Moment
When you encounter a fin nipper, I encourage you to create a teaching moment from the experience.
Talk about what happened.
Talk about the boundary you created.
Talk about how you navigated through it.
Share what you learned.
Because someday, your experience may help another healer, teacher, practitioner, or intuitive recognize what is happening before all of their fins have been nipped away.
You are allowed to serve people without allowing them unlimited access to you.
And you are allowed to be successful, abundant, well compensated, and deeply spiritual at the same time.
Ready to Strengthen Your Intuitive Skills?
If you are developing your Reiki, psychic, or intuitive abilities and want a community where you can practice with other students, explore energy hygiene, and continue developing your gifts, I invite you to learn more about The Mohr Intuitive Collective.
🩷 Continue developing your gifts while learning how to protect your energy along the way.
