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Words Matter, and The Words That Matter the Most are the Ones You Say to Yourself

“Words Matter, and The Words That Matter the Most are the Ones You Say to Yourself.” by David Taylor-Klaus

Validation is something that you can only give to yourself. No amount of evidence will ever change the inner dialog in your head. It all comes down to self worth.

What helps is when someone captures you in a beautiful way. Someone saying, “You’ll figure it out, you always do.” Or, “That color is stunning on you,” might begin to alter some of your outdated inner dialog.

Maybe you struggle with physical self worth like I did?

When I was a kid, I was overweight, had glasses, buck teeth, and my ears stuck out. I was teased and called, “The Goodyear Blimp”, “Bucky” and of course the ever popular “Four-Eyes.” As an eight year old in the 80s, I used to hide in the bathroom at recess to avoid confrontation and/or isolation.

Why am I telling you this now? Because it took a long time for me to see myself as anything other than those things. I can remember the distinct words of a boy I once met who said, “You have cute ears.” That single sentence seemingly healed my paranoia about putting my hair up.

Someone once said, “Lisa, you need to smile more. Your whole face lights up when you do.” And, “You have the cutest little overbite.” I never smiled and frequently covered my mouth because despite two rounds of braces, my teeth stuck out. These sentences truly helped re-frame my inner dialog –  which was abusive and hurtful. I never saw myself as beautiful, ever.

I had someone compliment my glasses and my eyes. My “skinny legs” and “face.” All of these things I never considered until I heard it lovingly from another person. I had what you would call extremely low self worth.

The biggest insecurity I have ever had was my stomach. I bet a lot of women can relate to this? I have quite a bit “extra” there, and always have. 🙂

Once, while getting an exam, I was shy about covering it up and the nurse referred to it as “All of that good stuff.” Wow! I laughed and really allowed that thought in for a moment. It felt healing to do so.

We all have a negative dialog in our heads. I once heard that the voices of your parents’ criticisms become your inner dialog as an adult. I wonder if this is true? With only 2,000 conscious receptors and 4 billion subconscious ones, there are many thoughts and feelings that linger beneath the surface, governing 100% of our perspective.

Words matter.

Do you remember positive or negative words from your own childhood that helped form who you are and how you talk to yourself?

Have you ever given life-changing words to another person and it healed them?

I know that words that I have said to clients changed their lives. I had a client seek me out after 20 years. She left a toxic marriage and got her dream job. My words were what she needed to hear to believe in her self worth and make a change.

Words matter.

If you aren’t happy with something, be patient and kind with yourself as you implement a change. You can do it! I did, and I continue to make daily changes to improve my life.

People remember the way that you made them feel. Your mind and body remember the things that you say and have said to yourself.

Be kind to yourself because you matter firstly and mostly in your life. The more that you love yourself, the more that you can give to another.

I’m an author, private coach, professional speaker and thought leader in positive perspective. My passion is teaching individuals to access and enhance their intuitive abilities to optimize their lives.

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