I recently read a quote that inspired me:
“Perhaps, we should love ourselves so fiercely that when others see us, they know exactly how it should be done.” Rudy Francisco
You see, the way we judge ourselves is sometimes how others perceive us. If you believe you are important and a priority, you naturally broadcast this energy to others. When an individual makes contact with you, he or she responds to the energy you are emitting about yourself.
Whether or not we realize it, we constantly evaluate the people around us. We respond to the energy around them. Confidence, or lack thereof, clings to their energy field like perfume. You can tell if others feel good about themselves because they look radiant.
Confident people know and feel their importance and broadcast this out to the world. And as a result, others open doors, restaurant owners seek them out to ask how their meal experience was, and these individuals are naturally praised and promoted in all areas in society.
That said, you can immediately see if an individual is self-conscious or self-doubting, because those perspectives are in the person’s eyes, voice, facial expressions, and body language. These people are often bumped into, skipped in line, and not given credit for successes at work or other areas of life.
Whenever you have an opportunity to demonstrate heartfelt compassion toward these individuals, I encourage it. Especially if it is you! However, remember it’s not your job to rescue or validate anyone. This will not ultimately help another person grow. The truth will.
But if you are the one suffering with poor self-worth, let me ask you, is it real or an illusion? How would your closest friends and family describe you? With your faults and challenges or your successes and compassion? Are you the kind of person who puts everyone else first? Are you the kind of person who has such low self-worth that you diminish your own voice? Do you ever ask for what you want or need directly?
Deliberately diminishing yourself frames and identifies you as someone to be pushed aside and stepped on. And you will not only attract this, but condition others to do this to you, over and over again. Remember, mini-gestures like averted eye contact, stuttered speech like, “Um,” and very passive body language tell others quite simply that “I do not matter. I am not important.”
Some individuals, especially women, feel that it is a good character quality to apologize for being first, or assertive, or having high self-esteem. The problem with this is that YOU are the first to define who you are to the world. We all respond to the energy you are creating concerning the beliefs you have about yourself. And if you are doing this, you are essentially telling others that this is expected behavior. It is appropriate for you to be “last and less” to others.
Strengthen your self-love. Make a list (yes—actually write it down) of your 10 best qualities. Focus on these characteristics, and amplify your self-worth. This will become your new broadcast to the world. As a result, you will simultaneously re-condition others to treat you with love and respect while modeling healthy self-worth to others with grace.